


Dog of the Military

by Black_Raven2539



Category: Rent - Larson
Genre: Gen, M/M, Military, Military Homophobia, Military Jargon, Prisoner of War, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:25:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3166421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Raven2539/pseuds/Black_Raven2539
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never did he think about joining the military, ever. But one day a little letter changed it all. His life's taking on a course least followed. Now all he can do is survive. Present time fic 2003,do not have AIDS.Going from T, for violence. REVIEW PLEASE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fights

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: Takes place present time, slightly in past,( a couple of years). They don't have AIDS. Other than that it's the same and completely different story.

I wake up, the sun shining through the blinds onto my face.

"Good Morning Angelcake." I mumble sleepily and search the bed for her familiar figure.

I open my eyes to find that the bed was empty. The smell of coffee wafts into the bedroom. She's probably in the living room, she's such a early bird I thought. I sit up and rub my eyes and head towards the bathroom to relieve myself. I brush my teeth, and groom my goatee, shaving off the 5:00 shadow creeping in. I splash my face with cooling water before drying off with a nearby towel and head towards the living room.

I smell coffee brewing and I see Angel in her black tanktop and Mickey Mouse pajama bottoms holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a piece of paper in the other.

"Good Morning Angelcake." I say but she doesn't respond.

I approach her and I realize that she's crying. I sit down next to her on the couch and wrap her in my arms.

"What's wrong? It'll be okay, I'll always be right here." I say comfortingly, but saying this only sends her into hysterics. What did I do? I think to myself. She sets down her coffee and hold me tighter around my waist, with the piece of paper still in her hand.

She literally squeezed me, gripping me as if I was goin somewhere. The piece of paper touches my bare back, pricking me uncomfortably with its pointy corners. I grab it from her hand. Then I see my name addressed to it, a document more than a letter. She cries harder as I start to read it:

To Sir Tom Byron Collins of #24th Housing Unit of Apartment Complex C of 1530 Avenue B, East Village, New York:

You are hereby ordered by the United States Military for induction into the Armed Forces of the United States, and to report at US Army Recruiting Station of 688 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY on the date of May 13that 15:00 (3pm) sharp for induction into the United States Army.

There was a whole lot of other crap with it but I knew what it meant. I just knew one thing as I clutched the paper in my hand, and wrapped my arms around Angel: I was being drafted into the Army.

(2 hours later)

"They can't do this! They just can't!" I yell as I put on my shoes. "They can Collins, they can." Angel says sadly, too depressed to wear drag.

"This can't be happening Ang! I can't go into the damn motherfucking Army! I don't want to go into the Army! I'm perfectly happy staying here than going over somewhere to shoot a whole bunch of stupid ass people who think war is the answer!" I yelled in frustration.

"Neither do I want you to Collins, but- but we have to figure something out." Angel said teary- eyed, tears once again starting to fall once more down her cheeks.

I walk over to her and wipe away her tears and embrace her.

"Shh, It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna do something to get out of this." I whispered in her ear. I kissed her lovingly, giving her reassurance too. We left the apartment, the letter that brought so much despair in a seemingly supposed to be wonderful Friday morning tucked into my back pocket as we head to the loft…

(Mark's Perspective)

The loft was unusually quiet for five people to be in a room at once. Joanne was simply do lawyerly things with a whole bunch of papers on our coffee table. Roger and Maureen were playing a game console thing called a PS2. Maureen kept complaining on how we should get the new X-Box 360 that came out a while ago, but she forgets that were freaking broke and she refuses to pitch in with at least some of the money required to get a new one.

I filmed Roger getting frustrated as Maureen kept on winning.

"Hey you can't do that! Quit kicking me when I'm on the floor!" Roger yells as he furiously smashes the buttons on the controller.

"Yes I can, and I will! KIIYAAH!" Maureen says over dramatically as she kicks Roger's character again, killing him.

"Ha Ha 25 to 3 Roger! I am the winner, the Queen of Tekken 4!" She yells falling on her back her legs sprawled out. Roger grumbles and walks away over to Mimi, who was looking at a old fashion magazine.

I turn off my camera realizing I just wasted film on filming Roger and Maureen play a stupid video game. Joanne just shakes her head laughing at Maureen's little act.

The front door slides open and Collins and Angel arrive looking very…sad and depressed, which is so unusual for them I was kinda shocked and confused.

"Mimi-chica!" Angel cried as he runs towards Mimi, knocking Roger off the couch and onto the floor taking his place.

"Ouch Angel! Damn what was that for?" Roger says rubbing his back.

Angel buries his head in her shoulder crying loudly completely ignoring Roger as Collins walked in slowly from behind, a look of despair riddled across his face.

"Chica what's wrong?" Mimi asks Angel hugging her best friend.

"Coll- Collins is- is going-" Angel cried unable to finish his sentence.

"Collins, what did you do?" Mimi asked him, and his frown deepened even more.

"Why do you think I did something? I didn't do anything, the damned government did."

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to me. My eyes widened in disbelief as I read it. "My God..." I say, saddened by the news the document brings.

"What?" Roger, Mimi, Maureen, and Joanne say, wanting to know what happened.

"Collins has been drafted into the Army." I say sadly, and a collective gasp was heard. Now I understand why they were so sad.

"No fucking way! They can't do that!" Roger yelled outraged, but his eyes showing hurt and pain from the news. I passed the document to the others, each one reading it. Maureen started cry almost as bad as Angel when she read it, this time there was no over exaggeration, it was what she really felt.

"They can, and they probably will. It's the damn government, they can do whatever the hell they want." Collins says angrily, sitting next to Angel, who turns and cries into Collins' black and white layered shirt.

"When do you have to go?" Mimi asked softly.

"I- I don't know, but I have to be at the Recruitment Station three days from now at three pm."

"Where is that at?" Roger asks.

" 688 Avenue of the Americas" Collins says sarcastically, of course a Army Recruitment Station would be on a road like that.

"I'll drive you there." Joanne offered.

"Thanks." Collins says solemnly.

"Noo! Collins is going into the military!" Maureen wailed, crying for her best friend.

"No I won't, not if I can do anything about it." Collins said with uncertainty.

The rest of the day we all just sat there silently, looking at the paper, the simple piece of paper that was threatening to snatch away our dearest friend…


	2. Truth

3 Days later…

"WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN I CAN'T GET OUT OF THE ARMY!" I yell at the still very calm recruiter.

"Would you please refrain from yelling please? Now, you were drafted sir, did you not sign a document at the age of eighteen to be allowed to be drafted?" He said calmly.

"Well- well, yeah- yeah I did, but you know damn well its required by law! That's not fair!" I say, angry that he's playing this sort of game, like sending me over to my death is nothing.

"Please refrain from swearing please."

"If I continue, will it get me out of the military?"

"No."

"Damn."

"Sorry sir. The government needs soldiers and is in high demand, they make random draft selections sir." He pulls my file on his computer and shows me it. Indeed there was a document, with my signature, saying I could be drafted.

My photo shown and personal information also, everything about me the government could possibly know.

"But I'm not allowed in!" I say to him as he swivels the screen back.

"How is that sir?" He says to me, his eyes unconvinced.

"I'm gay! And I have criminal charges! How the hell am I supposed to be in the military! Last time I heard they didn't allow that!" I say, desperately trying to get out of this.

"You haven't heard have you? The United States allows homosexuals to participate in the military. Though that ban was uplifted a while ago. Also you have no charges."

"The hell! I know I had charges! I was arrested twice for God's sake! I'll even tell you, so you could put it on my record so you won't have a choice but to not enlist me! One was for public indecency and civil disobedience when I ran naked through the Parthenon, the other was for freaking possession! How can Uncle Sam enlist someone like that!" I say although his expression doesn't change.

" 'Uncle Sam' didn't over look it. Your file says that you went to court and your lawyer, a Joanne Jefferson, won your case, and your charges acquitted and dropped. You basically have no criminal record." He again swivels the screen and I see the court case results, and it was true. Damnit Joanne, sometimes I wish you weren't such a good lawyer. I thought tilting my head back into the chair in devastation.

"Damn."

"Sorry sir, but meet all the requirements needed to be enlisted. Welcome to the Armed Forces. You will receive a letter in the mail."

I stand up from the chair and leave, emotions of sadness, anger and defeat swirling within me. I step into Joanne's awaiting car outside. "So… how did it go?" Joanne says expectantly as she pulls off. A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I tell her,

"I can't get out of it, I'm officially a dog of the fucking military."

"I'm sorry Collins. I really am." I stare out the window, watching the New York buildings go in a blur, wondering how in the hell I was gonna tell Angel…

6 days later

I opened the letter that I had been hesitating to open ever since it came in this morning. I read it and sighed. I was to leave with other new recruits to go to the Recruitment Station for departure on May 29th.

Just ten days.

I have ten days left to spend with Angel. Ten more days left to spend with Mark, Maureen, Joanne, Roger and Mimi. It said to bring nothing but necessities for a period of six months. Six months I would have to be away from them, away from my Angel.

I hide the letter as Angel comes walking in, and sits next to me.

"So what does it say?" Angel says, apparently knowing about the letter.

"Um… what letter?" I say weakly, trying to confuse her.

"The letter under your butt, Collins. Don't try to get out of this, it's already too late." Angel say looking at me with her stern chocolate brown eyes. I give in and sigh and take out the letter, no use of hiding it when she already knew the truth.

"Um, a whole lot of shit, but basically I'll be leaving soon." I say, tossing the letter on the coffee table.

Me and Angel had long since accepted my, no our fate of me going into the Army. There was nothing we could do, no way out, so we just accepted it. But it doesn't mean I couldn't hear Angel cry at night over it.

"Soon. In ten days to go to some Military Academy Training shit." I say not wanting to give her the rest of the information. "For how long?" She asks. I stayed silent, maybe she'll just stop asking.

"How long Collins?" I look at her and those brown eyes I can't seem to resist start boring into me looking for answers.

"Six months, six months I'll be at USMA or West Point." I say, scratching my head through my beanie. She gives me a hug, and I return it, cherishing every moment…

3 hours later, at the loft

"So you're leaving in just ten days!" Maureen exclaimed after Angel and I told the news of my departure.

"Damn, why you Collins? It's not gonna be the same without you. How is an anarchist gonna work for the government?" Roger said slouching in his favorite chair.

"Yeah, I'll even miss breaking you out of jail every time you do something stupid." Joanne said depressed.

"Good thing you still have Roger." Mimi said jokingly, although seriously downed by the news.

"Don't get me started on Roger he already has a file as big as my hand, it just won't be the same without Collins."

"Yeah like the time me, you, and Maureen got detained for that riot. Remember they were prying Roger off the stage, and he hit that cop in the head with his guitar?" I said remembering that fucked up, high as hell night.

"Yeah, and you and Maureen were screaming 'Anarchy! Evolution! Justice screaming for solution!' while Maureen was being carried over the crowd." Roger added.

"But Collins was the crazy one there. He was evading the police, and started lighting shit on fire. He was high as fuck, and I'm surprised he remembers any of it." Maureen said.

"Yeah, but it'll be all gone soon." Roger said, and everyone kinda went back into their depression.

"Guys! Guys! I know this is really, really bad news but we should all celebrate Collins while he's still here." Mark says to all of us.

"Yeah, we should, like- like a going away party!" Mimi said getting excited. Hey that didn't sound too bad. A party is always a good idea, including when your partying with these guys.

"Yeah! Like five parties in a row! It's a party-fest!" Maureen says jumping in the air dramatically. Totally psyched about the party-fest I spin around dramatically next to my best friend.

"It is settled! We will have a five day party in honor of the departure of yours truly." I say matter of factly taking a bow, which everyone chuckles to.

"So where do we start?" Mark asks.

"Duh my little albino pumpkinhead! The life Café! Let's go give our little host the biggest headache he's ever gotten!" I say laughing at Mark, who turns bright red at the mention of his nickname.

Everyone agrees and we leave out the door, getting pumped up for the epic time we were going to have…

"Yooo! Bernie! What's up!" I say at our favorite host as we walked in.

"It's Bernard, and what are you doing here? Don't come here if you can't pay." He said, looking at me.

"I'm goin' away! Haven't you heard? I'm gonna be in the Army." I tell him.

"Yippe for you." Bernie say uninterested, looking at his podium.

"Aww don't be like that! You'll know you'll miss me!" I say playing around with him.

"No, I won't. Just don't die out there, kay? Table for 7?" He says, still acting uninterested. So he really does care, aww. He cares even though he hates me so.

"No, not seven, more like twenty."

"Sorry we don't have a table or booth that could hold twenty."

"It's okay, we'll improvise." I say chuckling as we and the rest of the bohos from east village come walking in. The gang had basically told every boho we crossed the news and apparently about the party too.

"Wait! Hold on! Don't push the tables together!" Bernie calls out, but goes ignored as we push the tables together. We all sat down as our favorite jerry-curled waiter comes in to take our order.

"Hey Collins! What's the big crowd for? Did you guys cause another riot?" The flamboyant waiter ask, placing his hand on his hip.

"Naah, I wish Chris. This is a going away party." I say to him.

"For who?" Chris asked looking at all of us.

"Collins! Collins is going away to the Army! Can you believe that shit Chris!" Suzie yelled from across the table. Always to speak her mind, our frizzy blonde haired writer, that we love oh so much. Chris looks at me appalled.

"Really?"

"Yep, its all true."

"Well I guess this is all on the house." Chris said matter of factly.

"Niice." Roger says grinning. "What would you like to drink?"

"WINE AND BEER!" We all yell at once.

We all talked and celebrated, many times retelling stories, and sipping beers and glasses of wine. All of the sudden, Maureen climbs on the table declaring with her glass of wine in her hand,

"We should toast to Collins! The bestest friend in the whole entire WORLD!" she says a bit too loud.

"I remember the time when I first met Collins. He was flipping awesome! I was walking down the street when I saw him messing around with some electrical box on 24th street." I smile, remembering that time.

"I was wondering what he was doing, since he didn't look like a regular worker so I asked him. He said Oh nothing really, causing havoc the norm. He said it like it was a normal thing to do, and I loved it. Oh really I said to him and all he did was smirk that mischievous smirk we've always seen. And he closed the box and flipped on a switch on a hand held remote. All the lights and stoplights on that block went crazy! It was hilarious! He ran away and I followed him, of course. And that was the beginning of a wonderful mischief filled friendship. To Collins!" Maureen exclaimed way too loudly, the third cup of wine getting to her head.

"TO COLLINS!" everyone cheered.

One by one people got up on the table, telling stories of me, or how I caused havoc, or how we met, or a combination of the three. Our food came, and my favorite meal came steaming hot. Meatless Meatballs, delicious.

"Eww." A familiar voice said.

"Roger, why must you hate my food so much?" I say to him.

He chuckles "Cause Collins, that's just not normal."

"A lot of things aren't normal Roger. Like your inability to write a new song or the fact you wear black nail polish, even though that went out of style like five years ago." I say chuckling at Roger.

"Well what about- what about, never mind, hell I've got nothing." Roger says laughing as he gulps his beer. We all talked and ate, until it was time to go, and at least everyone was thoroughly buzzed.

"To the loft! Paaartaayy" Mark slurred.

"Stoli timeee!" I said along with him, grinning uncontrollably. Everyone followed, heading toward the last party I would have in six months…

Five nights and days we spent partying, drinking, smoking, and getting high as fuck. It was the time of my life.

However, when the five days were up, all that was left was preparation for my departure. The days spent preparing and quitting my job at NYU regretfully, to which my awfully faithful students were sad to hear of, and the nights spent with my precious Angel, the one person I couldn't stand to be away from. Love and passion, tears and comfort were spent in that last night, knowing in the morning that I would be gone…


	3. Departure

In front of Recruitment Station, May 29th, 6:25a.m.

"So this is it?" Mark says to me as I and other recruits wait for the bus to arrive.

"Yep, I guess so. You guys didn't have to get up so early just to see me off, ya know. It's so early." I say to the gang looking at all of them, who were bleary-eyed, especially Maureen since she was still in her pajamas.

"It's okay Collins we don't mind. We all wanted to, there's no way we couldn't say bye." Mark says rubbing his eyes.

"But it's six in the morning." I say.

"It's okay, I had to go early into the office anyway, on the other hand Maureen was a bit harder to get up." Joanne says, looking at Maureen who was yawning loudly.

"I'll miss you Collins." Angel says to me in a whisper.

"I'll miss you too Angel. I'll be thinking of you everyday." I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. She shudders in my arms, and I look at her to see that she's crying again.

I wipe away her tears, and tenderly stroke her hair (A/N: she's in drag).

"It's gonna be okay. I won't be gone for long, I promise Ang, so don't be sad please. I'll call, I'll write, and I'll do anything to keep in contact. We'll stay in touch, so there's no need to cry. I'll be back, who knows? Maybe I'll get out early for bad behavior." I say to her. That's what I intend to do, then they wouldn't have a choice but to kick me out, and then I could get on with my life.

"No, don't do that Collins. I know you, and I know that you would actually try to do it. If you're going now, then you should stick with it. Succeed; like you always have, don't dropout because of me, I'll be okay. Make me proud; make me smile, to know that these six months would be worth it." Angel said to me, looking up at me, sincerity and compassion in her eyes.

She's always thinking for the better of me, this time I wish she hadn't. I wish she would indulge and be selfish for once, so then maybe I wouldn't have to go, and I could continue to hold her in my arms like this forever.

"Okay, I won't, and apparently you do know me too well. I'll go through with it, for you Angel." Our lips crush together and connect in a sense of longing need, knowing that this will be as much as we'll both get for six months. How can our relationship last if what's dividing us was not only time, but the distance and the very government as well?

I hear sniffling and I'm brought out of my euphoric moment with Angel. I look over to see that it's Mo crying.

"Aww Mo, don't you cry too! I'll be back! I won't be gone for long! It's not like I'm gonna be gone forever! I'll still be in state! Think of it as me going to MIT for six months or somethin' instead of the military." I say trying desperately to comfort my best friend.

"But you'll still be gone! My best- best friend is going away, and I can't go with you! We won't have fun anymore! It'll be boring without you! We can't go mooning cops anymore, or start anymore riots! I'll be stuck with a whole bunch of boring people, except Mimi, Pookie, and Angel!" Maureen wailed dramatically.

"Hey!" Roger and Mark say, offended that they weren't included.

"Aww! I love ya Mo!" I say as I walk over to her a hug her.

A black Range Rover skidded to a halt, and a flustered Benny stepped out.

"Am I…too late?" he says gasping walking over.

"No, the bus hasn't come yet. Why are you so out of breath?" I ask him, raising my eyebrow curiously.

"Because I…was rushed. I didn't know… you were leaving. Found out today. This morning. Ten minutes ago." Benny said breathing heavily. "How did you find out?"

"Mark, told me. Ten minutes ago."

"Ten minutes…Wait that can't be true. You live on the other side of town. A good thirty minute drive by car, so you couldn't have heard it from Mark ten minutes ago." I said doing the math in my head.

"That doesn't add up. At all."

"He really did just find out ten minutes ago, Collins. I called him at the payphone down the street, before you actually saw us." Mark mumbled, tinkering with his camera.

"So, how did you get here so fast and why are you out of breath, you didn't answer my question."

"I have a really, really, really big house okay? And my car was a little out of reach. Dressing in two minutes didn't help either. I got here so fast, because, I ran quite a few lights and stop signs to get here before you left. We may not be as close as we used to, but you're still a friend. I just wanted to say bye." Benny says finally catching his breath.

"Where's Muffy?" Roger asks. "It's Alison for the four hundredth time, and she couldn't make it, she's at her parents' house. I told her on the way here, and she said to tell you that she sends her best wishes."

I smile at him, "Thanks for coming Benny cause' it means a lot, and tell her I said thanks too." He smiles his charming grin, which I remembered from so long ago.

"Just one thing."

"What?" Benny says looking at me quizzically.

"If I hear that you turned off the power, heat, water, or evicted my Angel while I'm at West Point, I'm gonna come straight home and put my semi-armified boot up your ass. Got it?" I say jokingly, but then again in all seriousness. Everyone chuckles and Benny just smiles.

"Yeah, I get it Collins, this is a special condition. I can wait out the rent for six months."

"GROUP HUG!" Maureen said rather loudly, the other recruits staring at us before going about their own business, though some continued to watch. We all joined in at the request of Maureen.

I saw Benny standing out to the side, not entirely sure if it meant him too. I smile and pull him into the group hug, which he accepts.

If he came all the way just to say bye, then he deserves to be included.

The bus screeched to a halt by the curb, and we all ended the crushing group hug. I pick up the large, almost overstuffed duffel bag (thanks to Angel, and a volume of Modern Philosophy) holding my necessities and slung it over my shoulder, settling on my back with a thump. "Goodbye Collins." Angel says as she hugged me.

"Goodbye Angel." I give her one last kiss, one that wasn't so easy to part with. So much emotion flowed within that last kiss, and I didn't want it to stop.

"MAGGOTS! GET ON THE BUS!" yelled a very strict military looking man. Our lips parted unwillingly, both of us knowing that I had to leave. I give her one last hug before I walk towards the bus. I wave to my friends and they wave back.

I step onto the somewhat crowed bus and head towards the very back, to the last seat. As the bus drives off, I look behind me and look through the glass. I see Angel crying into Mimi's shoulder, both Benny and Roger comforting her, while Mark films the bus leaving. I quickly turn around; not wanting that to be my last memory of home, but it was too late, as I saw how hard of an impact my leaving was going to be on Angel…


	4. Arrival

I look out through my side window as I mentally prepare myself for whatever's ahead. I hate this. I hate leaving Angel like this. I hate it. I take out the few photos I brought with me from out of my checkered shirt pocket. I flip through them, looking back on the memories, and the friends, I'll be leaving behind.

I glance up, a conversation striking my attention. Through all the excess noise and conversations, I continue to strain to listen to the male voices.

"…Can you believe it? They are letting THEM in the military. It's so wrong. They just need to stay home, or something, not bring their gayness into the military. The military is just gonna be some huge corrupted mess, with everybody kissin' each other. Gross." "Yeah, I even saw a few of those things out there at the recruitment center kissing up on their… whatever they call it. It's nasty. I saw at least five of them, one guy had like eight around him, boys and girls. Eww. Talk about open relationship. That's how they be spreadin' all these fucking diseases everywhere…"

I shut them out, my anger starting to boil inside me. Great. Just fucking great. Already I'm facing prejudice, and they haven't even got to know me yet. I know that last comment was about me, but that interpretation was way off the mark, and so nasty. Eww. They're the nasty ones if they could think that… eww.

I shake my head quickly getting rid of that image, though the grimace still stays. I put my pocket, tucking them away safely from harm. I open my duffel bag and reach for the heavy hardback book that I brought, my only sense of entertainment. I lean against the window as I leaf through the pages til I find my last stopping point. I read about a good three pages before someone interrupts me.

"Vatcha reading?" I look over my book to see a young woman looking at me. "Are you talking to me?" I asks her, not entirely sure. "I don't zee anyone elze reading a book, do you?" She says smiling, speaking in a deep Russian accent. "Um, I'm reading Modern Philosophy. And I guess not. Um, hi? I'm Tom Collins, but just Collins." I put down my book and extend my hand, which she shakes. "Collinz huh? Nice name. My namez Anita Milkovich. Nice to meet you." "Same here." I say as she lets go of my hand. "Juzt moved back here, after hearing those baztards talking up dere. Then I zaw you." She say leaning towards me, though not invading my space thankfully. "Zo, are you ready to become a soldier?" Anita asks me, her heavy accent really coming through the more comfortable she gets to talking with me. I shake my head. "No, I want the opposite, I rather be back home, with my friends and, other uh… yeah." I say stopping in my tracks not wanting to give away any information of my personal life to a stranger. However nice they may seem. "Oh, I zee, no more questions. I get it. But, why are you in the military if you don't vants to be? And why are you reading Modern Philozophy?" She asks, pulling her long brown hair into a ponytail. "I thought you said no more questions?" I say smiling at her inquisitiveness. "Vait, I did zay dat didn't I? But could you anzer the question? Please?" I look at her face, and the look she gives me resembles a little kid asking for twenty-five cents to buy a piece a bubble gum. I smile and attempt not to laugh. "I never asked to be in the military, I was drafted. I'm reading Modern Philosophy, because I used to be a Computer Age Philosophy professor at NYU, before this." "But why do you still read it?" I look at the book pondering in thought for a moment, trying to formulate an answer. Why was I reading this? My new job no longer required me to read this like NYU used to, so why am I? "Oh, well, I guess it kinda reminds me of home. The underpaid wages, the 75 papers to grade almost every other night. The perplexed faces on my students when I talk about theories and the excitement as well, when I told them about my Theory of Actual Reality. Philosophy does interest me, it does, but this book, I guess reminds me more of home." I look up at her and find her still staring at me. "What?" I ask her, wondering what else she tempting to ask me. "Oh, it'z nothing. You zeem like a very nice perzon."

"Okay, well, what about you? Did you volunteer?" I ask her. She shakes her head no. "Nuh- uh, drafted like you. Zee government took me away from my precious babies." "Babies? You mean you had kids, and they still drafted you? Made you leave them?" I say in disbelief. I knew I hated the government for a lot of reasons, but this just took my hatred to a whole new level. "Ah yez, but you zee, it's not so bad. My little Viktor will take care of them while I'm gone. He'z a big boy." Anita said smiling, but sadness filled her voice. " How old was he? If you don't want to say anything about it it's okay." "No, no, it'z fine. Viktor is nineteen, little Ivan is only five, and Ivana iz five also, they were twins." She says in a day dreamy tone.

This was wrong. This was so wrong. Take away a mother from her kids? Just like that, without any care? "So what about you? Do you have anyone at home?" Anita asked.

"Um yeah, but I'm not exactly close, but I friends who are just like family. It's just-"

"AAALRIGHT MAGGOTS! WELCOME TO YOUR LIVING NIGHTMARE FOR THE NEXT 6 MONTHS! FOR THE NEXT 6 MONTHS YOU WILL EAT WHEN I SAY EAT! YOU WILL SLEEP WHEN I SAY SLEEP! YOU WILL DO WHATEVER A COMMANDING OFFICER WILL TELL YOU TO DO! WELCOME TO WEST POINT…" screamed a the military man to all the recruits.

I looked at Anita to make a joke about the officer, but she was already sucked into his words, sinking into military policy like quicksand. I shake my head, knowing it's a lost cause to try and make her rebel… oh Maureen I wish you were here I think as lay my head against the window pane…


	5. Road Trip

Weeks went by. Months slowly passed, yet all stayed the same. Except one thing. The absence of Collins, the silence never too far from any situation. Gatherings at the Life seemed a little more chill, not as exciting as they used to be.

Angel would receive occasional letters from Collins (the academy not allowing no other contact other that outgoing letters, soldiers- in training not allowed to receive incoming letters from family or friends), asking how she was and the gang was doing, and sometimes stories or tales of his time at training ranging from being locked in a room exposed to CS gas to being chased by an attack dog in training named Buster. He told of his bad behavior, to which Angel fussed at an inanimate letter, and then vented to the bohos about his behavior like she was his mom. He told them of friends he met particularly of a few named Anita Milkovich, Wesley Dorns, and James Bridgers. He wrote on how it was basically college classes and high school P.E. on drugs all at once. But the last letter he sent wasn't a letter at all. It was an invitation. An invitation to his graduation. That was a week ago, but now all hell is breaking loose…

Mark's Perspective

"Mark! Do not bring your damn camera!" Roger yelled at me while trying to find his other black boot.

We were late meeting with the others and plus a two hour drive still awaited us for us to be on time for Collins' graduation. We were never really on time for anything, but this was a special occasion.

"Why not? We should capture it on film. It's a special occasion." I whined.

"No! You bring that camera everywhere, and you say every occasion is a special occasion! You have a whole roll of film named Roger eating Captain Crunch!" He countered, finally finding his shoe under the couch.

"So what? I was bored."

"Bored like the time you filmed an ant walking on the sidewalk? For a whole hour?"

"I- I don't know, I was bored too back then."

"You are not bringing that camera, if you do; I'm tossing it on the highway." Roger finalized, putting on his jacket.

"Fine." I said, putting it on the counter.

"Forgot my ring…" Roger muttered going back into his messy room. I quickly put my camera in my tan messenger bag, along with a fresh roll of film. I sling it over my shoulder and wrap my scarf around my neck. Roger comes back, his ring properly on his hand.

"Ready to go?" I ask. "Yep. Let's go." We leave our messy loft, heading towards the life…

"There you guys are!" Mimi exclaimed as we see them waiting by a rented SUV. "Sorry, Roger was taking forever to dress." I explain.

"Me? It was you Mark, and your damn camera! It had nothing to do with me!"

"You took a whole hour to dress! How can it not be your fault?" I said pushing up my glasses.

"Who forgot to set the alarm? You did Mark! This was your fault!"

"Roger you have your own alarm clock! You could have just set the goddamn-"

"STOP IT ALREADY! DAMN!" Mimi yelled, silencing us both. "Yeah, you and Roger have been arguing all week." Angel said tiredly. "You guys have been wearing me out with all this arguing. I could hear you guys fighting last night from MY apartment." Mimi said.

"We were not fighting. It was just cause fat ass over here-" Roger started.

"Do I look fat to you! This emo drama king over here's just mad cause-"

"- you ate all the Captain Crunch!"

"I did not! There wasn't anything in there anyways!"

"See! You did eat it!"

"No I didn't! You did! You drank all the coffee too!"

"No I didn't, you did last week!"

"No, I didn't cause I was drinking tea all last week, since there wasn't any milk to put in coffee, much less our disappearing cereal!" I yelled at Roger, who got huffy in his dramatic way.

"You scrawny little-"

"You, little drama king, get your ass in the SUV NOW! You, toothpick blonde topped albino, get your ass in the SUV now!" yelled an irritated Maureen pointing at us, shoving both of us toward the car. I did as I was told, knowing full well how Maureen could get when she's angry, but she way too angry, angrier than I've ever seen here before.. I got in a seat, far away from Roger as possible. "But Maureen, I'm not scrawny I-" Maureen slammed the door in my face. I sit there idly doing nothing, playing with my fingers, even though I want to tinker with my camera so bad, but afraid to bring it out, afraid that Roger might actually toss it on the street…

(Mimi's Perspective)

I watched a tempered Maureen all but toss a fighting Mark and Roger in the SUV, which Joanne was climbing into the driver's seat. "I'M TIRED OF THOSE TWO SHITS FIGHTING!" Maureen yelled wildly. Oh god, this can only mean one thing. Maureen must be crazy or she's on her period. God help us all if she is either one of the two. Angel and I climb into the back, me next to a grumbling Roger, while fuming Maureen takes the passenger seat. We sit down, in our seats while Joanne punches in the address of West Point in a GPS system in the front.

"So, Angel, are you ready to see Collins?" I ask her after Joanne finally pulls off, still trying to calm an irritated Maureen. "Yes! I can't wait! It's been so long, not being able to talk to him at all. I just wanna smother him in kisses when I see him." "I bet he'd enjoy that." I commented.

"SHUT UP!" Maureen yelled.

"Maureen, It's Mimi and Angel talking, not Roger and Mark." Angel soothed, knowing well how Maureen could get being on her P.

"Oh. Well if I hear a peep from Mark and Roger, I'm tossing them on the free way, while we're rolling." Maureen threatened.

Roger looked at me incredulously and mouthed 'what is wrong with her?' I shook my head and turned back to Angel.

"I hope Maureen can get hold of her senses, before she sees Collins." "Oh God yes, please. Chica, can you just imagine what'll happen?" Angel wondered. "Oh gosh yes, she'll probably pummel Collins, like she did last time." I murmured, knowing it was dangerous to talk about Maureen when she was in this state, so close. "I don't think so honey. If she touches Collins before I do, there will be hell to pay. Sorry, darlin' but that's just how it's gonna be. You will have to wait in line." Angel said smiling. "Oh yeah Angel?" I say questioningly. "Oh yes." "Girlie, you are too much" "Honey, I'm not too much, but just enough." Angel smiles, placing her black hair behind her ear.

After talking about Roger's and Collins' pros and cons (of course Angel had nothing to say bad about Collins), makeup, fashion, Maureen's erratic yelling and complaining, the unusual whirring noises coming from Mark, and back to Roger's loud annoying snoring, me and Angel had finally ran out of things to talk about.

"Angel, do you have service?" I ask bored. Angel looks at her cell phone, and then sighs. "I wish. I have no service. I'm not even roaming. Where are we?" Angel said looking out the window, seeing nothing but open plains.

"I think we're going the right way, not entirely sure. The GPS is really what I'm depending on, but how reliable can that be?" Called out a driving, tired Joanne.

"Wait, so you think we could be lost?" I asked her.

"It is a possibility. How reliable can this GPS really be? I'd be better if I just knew where this academy was. It says we are about to enter restricted access, so does it mean we're close. Just to make sure, make sure nobody has anything illegal on them." Joanne said, stressing the word illegal.

"I think no one has anything illegal on the Joanne. We knew where we were going. We left all our illegal stuff at home." Angel said cheerfully, glad that 'restricted access' meant that we were somehow closer to where we were supposed to be.

After ten minutes, we stopped. I'm pretty sure we weren't there yet, cause we didn't see any handsome marching military men anywhere.

"Joanne, why'd you stop?" I asked her.

"It's a check point above. Wake up everybody, I think we're here."

Angel shouted in glee and reached in front to wake up a sleeping Mark. I tapped Roger, who woke with a snort. Drool crusted the mouth I was just about to kiss. "Eww. Babe, wipe your mouth."

"Mm." Roger mumbled, and did it, still partially asleep, and confused.

"Where-" Roger started. "Double Eww! Your breath stinks!" I reach in my purse and stuff a piece of double mint gum in his mouth. He looks at me with surprise, but continues chewing…

Joanne's Perspective

I wake up Maureen lightly, knowing how cranky she can be, and how she can lash out at anybody, even if it is her honeybear.

I stop at the checkpoint, and a fatigued dressed military officer came up to my window. I rolled it down.

"License and registration, also any other identification card, and state your business, if you are here for the graduation, then please also retrieve the invitation." A gruff voice greeted me. "We are here for the graduation." I hand him the rental's registration, my license (me being the only who can drive legally other than Collins and Roger, but his license expired a year ago), and my social security card, and the invitation letter Collins sent us. The officer took them and returned them after inspecting them. He returned with three other officers. "Will you please- all of you step out of the van?"

"Guys, get out of the van." I called out to the others, Mimi and Angel inspecting each other of hair or makeup flaws, not knowing that they had to actually get out of the car.

We all got out of the van, the officers a little surprised of the variety that came out of it, including some wide eyed looks when Angel stepped out. Officer#1 started looking inside the car. Of course I knew what they were doing, but apparently Roger didn't. "Hey! Watcha doing?" "Sir, I am checking for any illegal paraphernalia, like drugs, alcohol, guns, weapons, things of the sort. Pay attention to the other officers please." The officer said as he checked and inspected the car.

"Empty your purses and bags here please." Officer#2 said who had a much lighter voice. I emptied out my purse to only show my wallet, a few make up products, and my license. Maureen didn't bring anything, and Roger didn't either, so they stood to the side. He inspected my things and moved me along to let me stand beside Maureen. Angel and Mimi were next and I was surprised how many cosmetics they could fit in their purse and still have room. After a thorough search, they soon joined us. Now Mark was last, and Roger was staring intently.

Mark's messenger bag landed with a thunk on the table and Roger glared. The officer reached into his bag and a nervous Mark looked away as the officer pulled out his camera and a roll of film, and a few different lenses. Roger glared at Mark while he came over, his items fully inspected.

Roger punched him on his arm, and Mark winced but said nothing. Officer#3 came over "No violence, no resistance. Arms wide, spread em." "What the fuck?" Roger said at the officer as he patted us down, with intention to find any hidden weapons.

"Watch it." Angel warned as he patted her and Mimi down. "Sorry Ma'am." He mumbled, obviously not aware of what was really under that skirt. Roger was a little resistant, which caused even more suspicion, and the officer made him take off his shoes, socks and leather jacket, and extensive checking, after all he did look the most suspicious out of all of us. Mark blushed red as he was patted down, embarrassed.

Finally the check was done, and we all filed back into the van and pulled off.

"That took forever." Mimi complained. "But at least its all over. At least that two and a half hour drive was not for nothing." Angel sighed contentedly from the back seat.

"Guys, welcome to West Point, we made it." I said as in the distance, West Point came into view…


	6. Graduation / Back Home

Narrration

The graduation was pleasant, silent, and revered, for some of the bohos, as thousands of graduating soldiers in fatigues, one out of the thousands was Tom Collins, the man who had been sent here under demanding, and unwanted circumstances, and a man who passed and achieved them. Joanne Jefferson was the most respectful of all the bohos during the processions of the graduation, every now and then whispering to Maureen to keep her under control. A Mimi Marquez, a fine woman, tried her best, but could not stop drooling after the thousand handsome military men before her, to whom her boyfriend, Roger Davis, who huffed and mumbled obscenities and was very jealous indeed for not being the center of her attention. Angel Dumott Schunard, persistent to look among the thousands of faces standing, saluting in front of her to find the one face that really mattered to her. And Mark Cohen, constantly filming the entire graduation, from presentation of the Dean, to the Closing Remarks, and was happy, because he was on the opposite side of Maureen, no longer able to feel the penetrating glares of Roger, and because he was able to capture a truly beautiful moment, a moment he probably would have never have seen in his life.

The final ceremonial process ended, and people filed out of their seats, and soldiers roamed to find their loved ones among the masses of civilians and soldiers alike. The bohos exited the seats and came upon the open grassy field, looking among the heads to find the towering stature that belonged to the man named Collins. However, this proved easier said than done…

Roger's Perspective

"We've been looking for half an hour already, and I know we have had to already walked at least two miles by now." I said exhausted. I sat on the ground, where I once stood, my feet aching from walk around.

"No, we have to find Collins. This is so not the time to lazy Roger. You've walked more than two miles on the streets of New York, this is no different. If I can walk in three inch pump heels, then you can walk in boots." Angel said.

The masses of people were slowly trickling away, most soldiers and civilians had already found their loved ones, but the fact still remained that there were still several hundred soldiers still, and many more civilians to count.

Maureen plopped down next to me. " Well Damnit, I'm tired too. Why don't we wait until Collins comes right here to us?" Maureen complained. " Because he won't see you if you are on the floor with Roger." Joanne said, pulling up her girlfriend from beside me. "Yep Roger, get up. The faster we find Collins, the faster you can rest your feet." Mimi said pulling me up off of the grassy ground.

We move to an opening, where all of us could be comfortable and not cramped together to keep from getting lost and separated.

" Should we go up to that hill? Maybe we could find him better?" Mimi pointed to the right, and we all looked, and we saw a hill with a huge pole waving a huge ass american flag in the air.

"Yeah, we should. That is a better choice, nice thinking Chica." Angel concluded.

"If you just want to find me, then just turn around." Chuckled the deep rumble of the voice of the one we've been looking for...

Collins Perspective

I see Angel turn around with a look a shock, surprise, and relief at the same time. "Hel-" but before I could finish one word, I was already engaged in a heated liplock with Angel. Her soft lips against mine, her mouth tasting of deletable candy. This was a kiss that I had been waiting for ever since I saw her in the stands. I picked her up and swung her around and she cried out in happiness and I laughed, so glad to have her back in my arms. I hug her, savoring the feel of her in my arms. The absence of her that I've felt for six months was no longer there. I saw Mark filming us from the corner of my eye. Usually I would have flipped the camera off or slap it away, but I was to happy to care.

I go in for another kiss, but someone hits my army cap, over my eyes.

"Who the fuck did that?" I say, as I lift my cap so I can see again. I was a litttle angry at whoever would try to ruin my moment with Angel, and block my view of her.

"IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR DRILL SARGEANT, PRIVATE COLLINS!" Yelled the firecest, and odly looking drill sargeant I have ever known.

"No Sir! Sorry Drill Sargeant Larson Sir!" I say in salute, afraid for what gruelling punishment he could possibly give me. I look to see the pale, tall, lanky, big eared body that belonged to Drill Sargeant Larson.

" At ease soldier. Don't wanna embarrass you in front of your girlfriend. Remember no sexual contact within grounds. That means kissing. Next time I catch you, I'm locking you in the chamber."

I lower my hand from salute and nod in appreciation, as I see D.S Larson walk off.

"So I guess no hi huh?" Roger remarked. I look to Roger, who was looking irritated. "Shut up and give me a hug!" I hug Roger and all the other bohos. "So how yall been?" I ask them. "We've been good, although you look like you were about to shit your pants back there when that dude came over."

"Hell yes, don't let his appearance fool you. He's one of the strictest Drill Sargeants here. Boy I dont wanna mess with him... ever again."

" What did you do Collins?" Joanne asked me.

"Well, I didn't do anything to him, that would be suicide. I told you guys what I did in my letter."

"Collins, you sent us twenty letters at least. Could you clarify?" Joanne said.

"Well, I put magnesium citrate to a couple of my buddies OJ when we went on a 25k run."

"What is that and why did you do it?" Mimi asked.

"Magnesium Citrate is a liquid laxative, and I did it cause they made fun of me cause I was gay and quote 'a gay boy couldn't handle the pressure, and should just go home', but I guess they couldn't handle the pressure cause they were shitin every other half mile!" I said unable to not smile.

"Sup Collins!" Yelled someone behind me. And sure enough it no other than my best buds I was just talking about James Bridgers and Wesley Dorns. Wesley Dorns, the average caucasian, had bright green eyes and close cropped brown hair(due to military standards), who had a pretty girl slung in his arms. James, the tall (but not as tall as me) causasian with deep set brown eyes and the charming, cunning face, strode over here confidently, like he could get every girl in the world...and probably could if he tried, just not mine.

"Sup guys, like yall to meet my friends. This is Maureen, my best friend and partner in crime, always." I point to Maureen, but she was taking more interest in James, uh oh.

"This is Joanne, the best lawyer in the whole wide world, and Maureen's girlfriend." I quickly stress girlfriend, despite Maureen's lusting looks. Joanne gives a quick nod of appreciation.

"This is my friend Roger, my one time song singing guitar strumming emo drama king annoyance. But he's cool once he gets off his period."

"Gee thanks Collins."

I laugh, "you're welcome." "This is Mimi. His girlfriend, so don't try anything James, your reputation preceeds you."

"Well geez Collins, I sure hope it does." James said smirking.

"Shut up James, now this is- the person behind the camera is Mark. This is where you come in James. He's a bit lonely, hasnt had a girlfriend in about two years, maybe you could help?"

" Sure, what's he look like?" Mark lowered his camera to reveal his face.

"Oh, I can help him. Thank God. This wimp might be lost to being single forever."

"Um thank you." Mark said as he raised up his camera once again, not sure whether to take that as a compliment or as an insult. Knowing James it was an insult covered in sugar. I pull Angel to my chest, gladly showing her off in my arms.

"This is Angel, the most important thing in my life. She's the gravity in my world that holds me to the ground."

James steps up towards Angel and kissed her hand. And stays there, kissing HER hand. Now he's just askin for it. My hand magically formed a fist and flew out, hitting him in his face. James howled in pain, while my hand went back to its resting spot, which was Angel's waist. James clutched his face and glared at me. Everyone eyes widened and went silent save for Wesley and Roger who just laughed.

"Sorry, my hands have a mind of its own. Maybe the next time they might find its way around your throat if you touch her again." I said with a smile. James smirked.

" I guess I can't win over everyone, sorry my apologizes Angel. I have a reputation of winning over any lady. So maybe once you get over this loser maybe we could..." James obviously saw my huge hand ball up into a fist, and he stopped mid way in his sentence. Good choice.

"And Collins, work on your punches, they are not as damaging."

"Then that'll leave evidence of your ass whoopin, and then I'll get in trouble, not that I care, but I just don't wanna get locked in the CS chamber and made to say that stupid Soldier's Creed over and over while being choked to death. I just want you to know your place."

"Your weak, too compassionate and you think things through too much. Be reckless for once."

"Being reckless will only get you in trouble."

"Like a bullet through the heart? Ha I laugh in the face of danger!" James scoffs.

"Okay, let's see that when a Taliban infiltrator shoves the muzzle of a M-14 at your face. Anyways, you are irkin me a little shall I put my fist to your face again?" I say as a challenge.

" Dang James, that'll be the third time you got hit in the face." Wesley said while the mysterious girl beside im giggled. "How?" I dared to ask although I probably know the answer. "He was flirting with Melissa. Sorry, let me introduce, this is Melissa, the light in MY world." Wesley said smiling uncontrollably with pride.

"Hey Melissa, nice to meet you." I say.

"Well we've got to go, and I mean I'm gonna get James away before he gets punched again. See you soon." "Yeah, see you soon." I nod.

Damn. He's right. We are gonna see each other soon. How am I gonna tell Angel? Well that can wait can't it? How am I gonna tell her that in two months I'll be gone again, but this time, I'll be gone for four years? I'll think about it later. No time for dispair in a time of happiness. But I dread the time I will have to tell her.

Finally united after six long months, we head towards the end of the field. This little boy with curly russet colored hair and pink tinged cheeks comes up to us crying. I feel sympathtic for the kid so I stoop down to his level and ask him "Whatcha crying about? No need to be sad sport." What surprises me most is that he answers me in Russian.

"I-ya poteryal mamu. I moya sestrenka." Aw jeez, I can't understand half the shit this boy is saying. Anita tried to teach me Russian, but who learns Russian, when the Army forces you to learn Persian? Hmm... mamu sounds like mommy, so maybe he's askin for his mom?

"Uh..." I dig in my genius filled brain to find some scraps of Russian Anita taught me.

"Uh...Kak tebya zovut? I think..." The boy looks at me weird, probably because of my mix of English and Russian but seems to understand me. Hell I barely understood what just rolled off my tongue. I can almost feel the stares of my friends boring into my back as I spoke another language other than Hebrew or Latin, which was really the extent of the groups foreign language besides Mimi's and Angel's Spanish, which they only used if they were talking about someone in the group or if they were extremely angry. "Ivan...Milkovich...you have bad Russian." So this is Anita's boy, figures, yet I'm dumbfounded. This boy knows English and I'm struggling to speak Russian. "You can speak English?" I ask him. "Yes, bad like you do Russian. Do you know mamu?" Ah ha! So I was right! Mamu means mommy...or mom, damnit now I'm not sure. Wait did this boy just insult me? Maybe I should leave him here...no, cause if Anita finds out she'll kick my ass. I know she can, she did in combatives. How a girl almost half my size beat the shit outta me AND give me a split lip I'll never know.(If you want to know what Collins exactly went through in BT, I suggest watching the series The Making of A Soldier by Benning TV on Youtube :)

"Yes, I know her. She's a friend of mine." The boy looks at me strangely like...he doesn't know what I'm talking about. What's the word for friend? Druga, yeah that's it. I remember that cause that all my friends do.

"Er, druga. khoroshii, drug mamy. Please tell me you can understand that." Ivan nods his head and hold out his hand. I take his little fingers in my huge hand. Why am I doing this again, oh yeah, cause Anita'll kick my ass if I don't.

"UM CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON? COLLINS IS SPEAKING DIFFERENT LANGUAGES AND IT'S NOT LATIN OR HEBREW!" Roger yelled looking at me.

"Um Roger, quit yelling or you gonna scare the kid. The boy just lost his mom. And just so happens his mom is a friend of mine. We'll just find her, and reunite them. Knowing Anita, she's probably going crazy." I look at the boy as we walk through the crowds. "Do you see her?" I ask him.

"Collins he's like 3'10. He probably can't see anything." Mimi says awwing at the little boy. True.

"You scared of heights?" I ask little Ivan. He doesn't respond. Damn probably doesn't understand.

"Um, scared of heights?" I use my hand to gesture my height. The boy shakes his head no, his little curls bouncing.

"Okay." I lift the boy up and put him on my shoulders. He screams and giggles like a toddler would, and I would have to admit it was indeed too cute.

"Look at Collins being so parental and wussy." Roger mocked.

"Shut the-" I started, but I forgot there was untained, unsoiled little boy on my shoulders. "Hush up Roger, or I'll make sure you can't have children." I say as politely as I can so the boy can't hear the threat behind the words he can't understand.

After walking around for about ten minutes with a forty-five pound boy on my shoulders, I'm finally startin to feel a little uneasy. Where is Anita, and how could she not know that her son was missing?

"Yo, Joanne, if you had a five year old, and found out he was gone, wouldn't you be freaking out?" I ask her, maybe it wasn't just me.

"Yeah- yeah, I would be looking everywhere for him, and already on the intercom proclaiming that he's lost." Joanne said, at first startled by the suddeness of my question.

"Okay, so it isn't just me."I said. "Of course not, I would be worried sick if I had a child and he was lost, being so adorable. Aww, he is soo cute!" Angel cooed, playing with Ivan who was still on my shoulders. And his wiggling wasn't making it any easier KEEPING him on my shoulders, even me holding his little legs, there was still a chance of him falling off. But I wasn't about to ruin Ivan or Angel's fun; Ivan's crying tears had just finnally stopped from falling on my head, I wasn't about to tell them stop and make Ivan start crying again. And after just getting Angel back, I sure as hell wasn't about to make her mad.

Suddenly, Ivan starts banging on my head with his little palms. He's gonna give me a headache. He keeps on banging on my head, my army cap shifting and once again covers my eyes.

"What? What! Quit hitting my head!" I say, trying to uncover my eyes while still trying to keep a hold on Ivan. God knows I don't wanna drop this little boy.

"Mama! YA vizhu, mama !" Ivan says pointing in front of us, still banging on my head. I see why toddlers give you headaches...literally.

I see finally why Ivan was banging my head again. It was Anita, just ahead of me, looking desprately for her missing child.

Another child, a girl clung to her fisting her fatigues in her palm. Another boy, much older, looking around almost the same age of Mimi, also looking. The boy spots us first, and notifies Anita before I can call out to her.

"Oh my little Ivan! Don't you ever run away from Mommy! Oh God, thank you Collins, someone could have taken my baby!" Anita says grabbing Ivan off of my shoulders gratefully. I watch as I see Anita cry, holding Ivan in her arms.

The older boy comes up to me and extends his hand in gratitude. Out of respect I shake his.

"Thank you uh," he glances down at my nametag on my fatigue."Collins, for finding Ivan. We could have lost him forever if it wasn't for you."

"It's cool man, although I was havin a hell of a time understandin him. Good thing for Anita trying, no forcing me to learn Russian, or I wouldn't have been able to understand him."

" Ha, yeah, Anita tends to do that. I'm Viktor."

" Yeah! She told me a lot about you. You're her son right?" I say.

"Where did you get that conclusion? I'm her brother." Viktor says with an eyebrow raised.

"What? Whoa, um, she referencedx you when we were talking as my little Viktor, while talking about her kids I'd figure-"

"Oh, well now that you've said that, I'm her little brother, she's been takin care of me since I was 10 ever since the parents died. She always reference me as Little Viktor, cares more for me as a son rather than a brother."

"Wait a sec, how old is she? She doesn't look that old. I'd say she was 22, like me." I say, this time, with my eyebrow raised looking at her. Geez really, I'd thought she wasn't old.

"Try adding another decade."

"Wow, 32, huh? And damn all this time she had the spunk of a 19 year old. Boy was I wrong."

"That's her alright."

"But she looks so young." I say amazed, looking at Anita who waas cooing her twind in her arms, before turning back to Viktor.

"That's what a little of exercise will do ya. Hey I got a favor to ask ya, can you do it?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Take care of her, over there, wherever yall are going to, cause she won't tell me." Viktor says, his smile replaced by a frown.

"She's in my platoon, so I'll take care of her." I say.

" No, man you don't get it. Take care of her over there. Just make sure she comes home. Anita's a risk-taker. She'll do anything if she believes it's right. Just make sure she comes home. Where are you guys going?"

"Um, I will. Anita's one of my closest friends, but it really isn't my call to tell you where we are being deployed to. It's somethin Anita should tell you."

"But I deserve to know, cause I'm gonna be the one staying at home with these rascals while she's off doing her duty. Just tell me."

"I'm sorry, but I just can't, it's not my choice to. But I'll talk to Anita, for you."

He nods sadly, and I walk over to Anita who still has her children in her hands.

"Oh thank you Collinz! I-"

"Yeah, I know. Hey do somethin for me. Promise?"

"I would pinky promize but I have my handz full. But I promize." She says.

"Tell Viktor the truth. He deserves to know."

"But-"

"I know you're trying to protect him, but it's not worth it. He's hurting inside. He deserves to know Anita."

"No, I can't." She says.

I'd hate to do this but...guilt trip.

"Think about it. A year from now,two, even three years from now. Little Ivan and Ivana will be what? Six, seven, eight? And when we're off overseas in Iraq, Afghanistan,Bagdad, Kabul, or Pakistan, fighting for this country that my friends, and YOUR kids live in, when your kids ask Viktor, who I might remind you is takin care of your kids, while you fight for their FUTURE and FREEDOM, when they ask Viktor 'where is Mommy?' Do you really want his answer to be 'I don't know'? Just think about it Anita. The boy deserves to know." I tell her seriously.

"Are you telling your loved onez? That when you go overseaz, that you might not come back? To tell them that when they zee you go on that military jet for deport, that they might not zee you again? How am I zupposed to tell Viktor that, huh Collinz? Are you gonna tell them?"

"Yes, I am Anita, it's not right to withold the truth. It's not right to let them wonder where exactly you are. I'm sure they know the risks to our job, but what they don't know will hurt them. All I'm askin is that you tell him Anita."

"Yeah, okay, Collinz. I'll tell him. After all I did make a promize." Anita smiles, and I smile back, happy to have change her mind, for Viktor's sake.

"See you later Collinz."

"Yep, see you."

"Oh my fuckin God, it's good to be back in the East Village." I sigh in contentment. I smiled as the loft came into view.

"Thing's been same ol same ol here."

"I'm just ready to go home, talk off these fucking fatigues and spend some QT with my girl."

"I think we all know what that means." Mark joked, elbowing me in my side.

"Haha, Mark you sly dog, Not. So catch me up. How's it been down here?"

"Well that homeless lady beat the shit out of Mark about a month ago for filming her." Mimi says hiding a smile.

"Roger is still on his period." Mark said thundering up the stairs ahead to open the door.

"VERY FUNNY MARK. Mimi's givin up her vices." Roger says proudly. Yay, a heroin-free Mimi.

"That's how ya do it, knew you had it in you." I say, givin her a one arm hug.

"Pookie moved up in her firm." Maureen says happily kissing Joanne affectionately on the cheek.

"Good for you."

"Ooh, and I'm still makin protests, this time against unfair rent prices Benny's been givin us."

"Angel's been pissed at you, every time you sent a letter sayin you got in trouble, so I wouldn't expect all the qt you were expecting to get." Joanne says.

"Haha, oh, you're serious? No QT? This sucks." I say.

"Don't worry babe, you'll get your QT." Angel says winking at me.

YES. We all walk inside the loft, and it's the same. The torn couch still by the window sill, Captain Crunch strewn across the metal bottles litter every available surface. Ah, home.

"I haven't had alcohol in forever!" I say instantly going to the half empty bottle of Jack.

"Collins, it's only been six months." Joanne clarified as I took a throat burning swig.

"Like I said, forever."

"So, what did you do over there? I heard BT only took 10 weeks. What else were you doing?" Joanne says.

"Well I had to take foreign language classes, and AIT."

"What's AIT?"

"Advanced Individualized Training. It's more like of a specialty."

"What did you choose?"

"Well, I was already good at tinkering with electronics, so I choose Signals Intelligence and Electronic Warfare, which is basically interfering electronic messages and coding and stuff like that." I say, knowing where this conversation was leading.

"Oh."

"Yep."

"So when are you leaving?" Joanne said, an all I did was look at her. That was all I could do. I did say I was gonna tell them but damn? Really, so soon? Sure, I did say a whole lot of shit to Anita, just so I can get her to tell her brother, but now am I getting why it was so hard for her to tell him. It's a lot harder than it looks. Telling your friends and lover that after two months is all that they'll get with you, before they see you again for four more fuckin years is a lot to swallow. Jack Daniels ain't got nothing on this.

"Well, since you asked, I'll tell you. In two months, December 26, it's the next deport date. So yeah." I take two more swigs of Jack, the alcohol now swimming in my head. There goes my happy mood, as I see Angel tearing up, and Mark with a deep scowl on his face. They shouldn't have asked.

"Well, ironic as this may seem, I think I might need a moment." I leave the room outside on the fire escape. I just cannot win. Can't make people happy. I'm back and it's supposed to make people happy instead of making them sad. It isn't fair to me and it's not right by them either. I watch as below roaming people wander the streets, ranging to bohemians, to the more frequent hookers that frequented the streets of Avenue A and B.

(total Bromance Roger/Collins\Mark moment, based on song If I don't make it back by Tracy Lawrence)

I sigh and twirl the neck of the bottle in my fingers as I hear two people come out onto the fire ecsape. I ignore them and take another swig of alcohol before I turn to whoever it was. It was Roger and Mark, I should have known. Mark sat himself on the stairs that connected the fire escape to Mimi's apartment. Roger leaned against the window, obscuring any view of the girls inside.

"Guys I appreciate it and all but-"

"Yeah Collins we understand. Ya know Joanne didn't mean to-" Mark said avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah, I know. I was just planning to-"

"Tell us later." Roger finished my sentence.

"Yeah. It's not the easiest thing to do ya know. I didn't mean to be-"

"A prick? An asshole?" Roger guessed.

"No, I was gonna say mean, but I guess that's a more suitable word."

We chuckled a bit, Roger taking the quarter-full bottle of Jack from my hands and take a swig of it himself.

"Ya know I was drinking from that." I comment.

"So what its ours."

"True."

"Ya know, Collins we love ya a lot man. Bromance to the max." Roger says.

"Yeah like you were always there for us, time for us to be there for you." Mark said, his cerulean eyes wavering with emotion.

"Yeah, when we were freezing our asses off, you stole money from the ATM to pay our rent. And you were there when I was kickin my own vices, you were always there, no matter how angry or violent I got, you were always there." Roger says softly.

"Yeah even when I was dumped you laughed, but you were there when I was crying over Maureen and- and just know that we're here for you always. And the one time I actually thought of givin up on being a filmaker, you were there to give me that pep talk to continue."

"Wait, you actually CRIED over Maureen?" Roger chuckled.

"Shut up, that's why I can't tell you shit." Mark says taking the bottle and downing the rest, wincing as he felt the utter burn only Jack could deliver. Mean while I was fighting to keep tears in, not knowing whether it was the alcohol makin be slightly buzzed that made my emotion out of whack, or i it was the words of sincerity coming from their mouths.

"Guys if I don't make it back, ya know-"

"Collins what the-"

"what do ya mean"

"I think you know man. If I don't make it back, don't waste no tears on me. Cause I know yall are some major crybabies." I say sniffling. Damn, who am I to talk?

"Collins, man, that ain't gonna happen man, quit thinkin like that." Roger said softly, almost at an inaudible whisper, sniffling.

"Yeah we know you. You're gonna pull through with out a scratch." Mark said at attempted words of comfort. Yet his eyes betrayed him, his blue eyes shimmering with held back tears.

"I'm just sayin', it's a possibility that I be coming back. I hate to say it but the thought just scares me man. I just don't wanna...die out there."

I'm startled as I feel two warm bodies envelope me. I can't help but cry as I hug my friends, their soundless comfort, save for Roger's sniffling, their rough hands thumping me on my back proving more comfort than words could ever explain.

Who knew a half bottle of Jack could make three grown men cry?


End file.
